I am not a winner! And it feels good.

We are surrounded with the success stories. We see teens in their twenties opening the million worth businesses, young artists sharing their artistic content on Facebook / Instagram and gaining thousands of „likes” or successful entrepreneurs making the job their hobby and spending the rest of their life drinking Mohito on Bahamas Islands. Living in the world full of opportunities is a great pleasure but at the same time it simply overwhelms. Why is that? Because we live in the reality where everyone needs to stand out, show off with unusual talent or hobby, impress with exceptional lifestyle. As a result, it puts an enormous pressure on us and in some cases it simply paralyzes. How to deal with that?

Honestly speaking, I also did participate in this whole vanity fair for a longer while. MA studies at the recognized Economics University said to be one of the best in Poland? Check! Plenty, low-cost crazy travels? Check! Intensive preparation of my curriculum during college? Check! This mad race did not see the end because I was incessantly haunted by one intrusive thought – it is not enough! You can do better!

I have never considered myself someone who is overly gifted with some above-average talents or exceptional abilities. Despite couple of successes, I always had to overcome a long and dreadful journey to reach my goals having my knees bruised few times that lowered my morale at many occasions. But once I did succeed, it felt so good, everyone knows how good the victory tastes.

Yet, I wouldn’t be myself if I did not try to get to the bottom of less pleasant experience. Experience that usually is treated as taboo topic because it happens to be one of the most intimate things in the universe. It is called a FAILURE, sense of loss. Too often we find it as some kind of infectious disease that one needs to deal with in a total separateness, singleness in order not to spread it into the wider audience. Because we all are brought up to become winners, aren’t we?

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Let me call a spade a spade. This is total bullshit!  Because only the proverbial loss, failure provides us with such a vast knowledge about ourselves, our capabilities that would never be acquired by us having succeed all the time. Or when we face a loss emotionally speaking as we failed again in relationship, we do learn a lot about our needs and expectations of what we really want from any relation. So don’t get fooled by others who say that you should never lose! I would go even further, you should not lose but you just ought to! This is the only way to accumulate valuable experience, ordinary life wisdom that unfortunately can not be gained only by collecting prizes.

So when everything just falls apart remember one thing: this is life lesson that you should recognize and learn from without looking back. And maybe, just maybe these pieces are actually falling into the right place.

As a final thought, let me quote one, honorable sufi poet:

„Don’t grieve, Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

Rumi

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